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Name: phanatiq
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Pessimistic Optimist
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Nokia N82 Frankfurt 2008

I used to think that it would be a nice place to indulge in my self-expose compulsion and voyueristic tendencies but for now it's more like a little diary where i'm willing to share portions of me with people who are willing to read.

Some are mundane, some are stupid, some are bitchy, some are funny but all are pieces of me. The most realistic me can be found in my pictures because it is a reflection of how i see things.

Everyone's welcome to add me. I'm not a great writer, nor am i funny or interesting so thanks for reading.

Do contact me if u r into roller-blading, outdoor running, windsurfing or simply finding a gym buddy who's on the same level as u.
"Life begins after lunch!"

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Current Location: Who knows?

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孟庭苇唱的情歌明明非常悲哀可是她的唱腔却一点也不悲哀。对我来说,好像有点跟她没有关系的样子。也许是吸引我的地方吧。只觉得很怪。当中的专辑只有卖了最不流行的《风中有朵雨做的云》。《你听海是不是在笑?》,《不快乐的爱人》,《不下雨就出太阳吧!》,《谁来晚餐?》都是我还记得的又怪又难忘的歌曲。

我还以为台北的冬雨真得很浪漫!Chey!有没有人也像我一样苯地被骗过呢?

那么不食人间烟火的人是流行歌手的料吗??

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: amused

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多疑的海洋 (许美静)

词曲:陈佳明 编曲:吴庆隆

轻轻你像一阵烟
吹过心中春天千百遍
悄悄像一阵风
相爱别离太匆匆
穿过林中的潮声
化成昨日最爱一首歌
曾经醉过的誓言
醒在依然轻柔的夜晚
等烟消云散重逢仲夏寂寞月色中
是否还能在眼里找回年少的痴狂
就算是愿意放开彼此自由的飞翔
又怎么才能飞渡之间多疑的海洋

很多人很喜欢回顾过去,照会过去点点滴滴的感动。
很偶然地发现了这一个网页,里面有好多90年代的专辑,令我惊喜不已!
许美静的《明知道》可说是议长非常稀有的专辑。可惜只有卡带。当年因该市听了《明知道》之后,“敢敢”的买下了。要知道当年零用钱不多,要不是有“品质保证”的歌手,一般都不会冒冒然的麦卡带。
这几首歌有个共同点,就是个人十分“热带岛国”的感觉,犹如第一次听到《一见钟情》那种既清爽,又让人气鸡皮疙瘩的感觉。年少无知,只知道前面有着那么多的可能。既紧张又期待。



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Current Location: Singapore

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夜选择了我 用孤独填满整个天空
车窗外的风 嘲笑我卖力忍受记忆折磨
梦背叛了我 却无力还手
情绪不断愚弄
无处可躲的我
流泪竟变成我仅有的奢求

把感觉失踪当无辜借口
男人啊 习惯这样宣告分手!
一天天挣脱温柔守候...
心离家出走 谁能够左右?

感觉失踪 爱变成苛求
你我 被冷漠人潮残酷淹没!
孤伶伶承受寂寞挑拨...
梦已不相同 宁愿各自从容

你怕不自由 我怕太沉默
失去你的理由
我想我不是不懂
当你松开手 温柔断了线索

把感觉失踪当无辜借口
男人啊 习惯这样宣告分手!
一天天挣脱温柔守候...
心离家出走 谁能够左右?

感觉失踪 爱变成苛求
你我被冷漠 人潮残酷淹没!
孤伶伶承受寂寞挑拨...
梦已不相同 宁愿各自从容

告诉我 是否男人都放了火就走?
却没有把握 到底能烧多久

If one was to examine the lyrics of this song, u would find this song a very AJ song indeed.

Kit Chan is back! Read some news on Kitchan.com and it seems like she is STILL denying being married. Interesting that I'd heard from people who claim to be relative that not only was she married, but raising children as well.

Perhaps she need some money for milk! Lol.

So she just held a wierd concert with a bunch middle-aged Taiwanese singers where they sang various cover songs. I've always enjoyed listening to these serious attempts. Shino Lin sang a very convincing version of 至少还有你 which is better than Sandy's version, nevermind the horrible lyrics. And Kit sang 伤痕!Not bad at all!

Well whether she's married or not as long as she keep churning out good songs. Afterall it's not as if she's doing anything bad.

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So being unable to spend me moolah on anymore garment, be it inner or outer, I recently turned my attention to yet another sin.. G-Shock watches. Having had a taste of lifejuice recently, my bloodlust got the better of me again. Let me begin by saying that G-Shock's are generally pretty ugly but once in a while u do see a nice one, just like my white Adidas watch. :)

GLS-5600L-4
Fell in love with another G-Shock esp it's puffy strap but it's leather! GDM! I'm STILL guilty from allowing myself to buy the Aviator and Louis Pion watch with their leather straps. And despite being the G-Lide range, it does not have the Tide and Moon graph that makes it so much cooler!

And then there is this one...

GLS-5600V-1
Alas it has a nylon band(read: stinky after a while) and also no graphs.. But really, this one is jus cute. I mean, do u realli need another black digital watch?


GForce DW5600MS1CR
So in my "quest" for the perfect one, I found this one.. which is actually not a G-Lide but a G-Force. But the concept of an "inside out" display is cool. V military, v suitable for role-playing.. heheh..

GLX-5600-4
Which brings us to the final culprit.. It's got the graphs, the really shiny resin band but minus the puffiness, the reverse display and the stealthiness. Well, no such thing as a perfect watch in life! A red watch, how flashy is that! Matches my swimming trunks! (KIDDING!!!)
A surfer watch! What a concept for a sucker like me! This might just be my next one. Mustafa here I come!

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My first G-shock, n not a very typical one. The colour and build is so retro. I love it. :)

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Current Location: Zurich (Switzerland)
Current Mood: happy

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What do they have in common?

They are all really bland.

To be fair both productions are really slick, the flow of show is smooth, given both shows employing a "parallel plot progression" style of story-telling.

The problem is that... they really don't go anywhere. As a viewer, I find that i've been taken for a ride for 2 hours and coming back to where I started without getting any sort of emotional or intellectual stirring. Aesthetically appealing is as much credit as one can get from such a production.

Perhaps, once again it's my "I-hate-happy-endings" mindset getting the better of me.

My Sister's Keeper-
If there's any other merit in the shows it's the fact that they don't go too melodramatic or peppered with too much Hollywood cliche like My Sister's Keeper, which is like a overly sweetened glass of soda.

One thing I dislike is movies with misleading marketing campaigns. For example, who'd known that 500 Days of Summer actually jus refers to a girl called Summer? And that in My Sister's Keeper, Abigail Breslin didn't exactly sued her parents just because she wanted to have the rights to her own body? They make the shows seem like a storm in a teacup when u find out the problems eventually.

Sunshine Cleaning-
If you were to pick an element or an actor from the above shows and put them together, then u will get Sunshine Cleaning. It's not a masterpiece surely, but it's a fairly tasty piece of homecooked food.

The actors are fairly spot-on in their roles and they each plays an important enough role to not appear as there to just "recommend a slice of pecan pie."

The many loose ends of the show is one aspect that i like about the show. What happen to Amy Adams, Steve Zahn and the Vacuum shop owner? Who did she pick? Where did Emily Blunt go? Was the new cleaning business successful? Was the child ok? Did the girls manage to pay their debts?

I believe a show to be successful when people end up asking such questions, despite it, being just a movie.

Management-
Steve Zahn really holds his own, acting as small town characters, like he did in Management, another movie which I quite liked. I think I liked it purely out of my own biase. Jennifer Aniston.. who can resist her? Add to that a little quiet town charm and i'm sold.

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Current Location: Zurich (Switzerland)
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: The Moment (Stefanie Sun)

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When people refuse to give u closure,
you have to give it to yourself.

"Cat power"!

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: bitter-sweet
Current Music: Smooth Operator (Sade)

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今晚在回家的路上,突然看见摆在一个光线阴暗的指示牌的倒影。
它那深暗色的轮廓是清晰的。
想到城市越是繁华,越是看不到自己的影子。
而我的影子的颜色是浅的。轮廓是模糊的。
就好像在每天为了生活而活着,渐渐的忘了自己是谁。
想要什么,为了什么而起床,上班,吃饭,睡觉。
人说影子是一个人的灵魂。是哪部日本动画片的主角想要寻找意识的灵魂?
我是否也遗失了我的呢?

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: confused

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眷恋 (顺子)
词:姚谦   曲:you heyul   编曲:吴庆隆

面对爱情变化了的时候
你会选择怎么做:
   用尽力去拼命回头去挽留,
   还是宁可留住自尊 头也不回的向前走?

如果眼泪不争气又流了
你会怎么渡过:
   跳入回忆安慰眼前的寂寞
   还是面对真实 他已经不再爱你了?

眷恋的人总最后 才发现春天已走了
就当做是一种幸福吧
结束了 未尝不也是一种解脱?

也许越勇敢的人越脆弱
你只是不会闪躲:
   眼睁睁看悲伤 把自己吞没了
   手还抓着 他爱你最后线索!

眷恋的人总记得 相爱时两人细微的动作
只是春逝了记忆里一切
变成 一种 自己逾越不过的梦!

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Music: 眷恋 (顺子)

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STRANGER! if you, passing, meet me, and desire to speak to me, why should you
not speak to me?
And why should I not speak to you?

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Destiny (Shunza)

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is good! It means the calories are burning.

Finally decided to screw the "if u wanna bulk up don do cardio" rubbish. I figure it usually takes abt 6 weeks to see any visible results so if I do 5km every other dae, in six weeks i'll have done (5x4x3) + (5x3x3) = 105km. So far I've done 20km and mind u it wasn't easy picking it up again!
My first 5 was so bad that i could hardly walk the next day but it could be the lack of warming up and cooling down. The 2nd 5 had me limping down the stairs to the changing room. Afterwards it became better. For a while i was worried if I'm gonna be in a world of pain the following day of my run. I remembered doing 30mins about 3 years ago on the treadmill hardly breaking a sweat, and I was wearing jogging pants.

A friend who's 30 told me somehow it's not easy for him to lose weight at this age. You run and run like mad and u hardly see any results. We shall c how it goes!

There are songs which were designed to the beat of a jog! Doing a particular IPPT a few years ago, I found that Kit Chan's 爱那么靠近 was particularly suited to a moderately fast pace. Today I ran to a slower pace 左撇子. It's kinda silly but I guess whatever helps u get thru is good!

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Everytime I receive the latest copy I eagerly tear it open cos it is so exciting to see if any loser that I know of is modelling or getting interviewed in the magazine. But it never happen.. maybe becos 31 is slightly beyond their target reader group already?

Current Mood: cheerful

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Goodbye & Hello - 100 & 10

100 "friends" on LJ. Slowly but steadily. I've said "Hello" to many people on LJ in person, and so far "Goodbye" to none of them. Perhaps I find them more valuable, that i know a piece of their lives.

10 years, since I first said "hello" to this godforsaken hellhole. I only realised this yesterdae when i was awoken by the sound of drilling in a flat one level down. Finally someone has sold off their house and hopefully, move to a better location. It has brought me more pain than happiness, the distance, the smell, the crowd, the noise. Work-wise, recently i am feeling the strain of travelling the entire MRT line back and forth repeatedly. I guess, and hope that it's only a phase. I don't even want to launch into a complain abt the freq and comfort of the MRT. The irony being, I'm a little glad to say goodbye to my previous place.

Goodbye & Hello - 若你踫到他

Goodbye & Hello is also the name of Tanya Chua's previous Mandarin Pop music album. The latest album "If You Chance Upon Him" isn't her best work in my humble opinion. In terms of concept, it is fairly similar to the previous one but quality wise, it sounded like a compilation of the songs that didn't make it to that album.

The strongest songs has to be "抛物线" and "谁".

"若你踫到他" is ok although it remind me of her less sophisticated song-writing days.

I can't say i'm not disappointed. There are great melodies and lyrics(like "抛物线") and silly ones. I hate corny lines, "男人" has a beautiful jazzy, Motown melody but the lyrics is horrendous, particularly "男人不坏女人不爱". Come on! There must be better idioms she can use!

I guess everyone have their ups and downs.

Goodbye & Hello - The Geek In Me

So, goodbye to my old PC and hello to my "new" ones.

My fren-assembled PC is officially kaputt. The processor went to heaven (or hell considering the woes it has brought me over the years.) [info]perficiothinks that I should be glad that it lasted for 6 years but I was hoping to break the Guiness world record for the oldest, working PC! No thanks to UTor for melting my processor!

So i thought if i can't have the oldest, working PC, then I might as well have the best under 2K god-damn PC! I have perficio draw up a configuration that i can purchase fr Sim Lim and I spent a bit of time updating my knowledge of the latest n hottest hardware technology.

At the back of my mind however, another master-plan was brewing thou. I met Matthew for a swim on Saturday morning and he mentioned that he had a old PC built in 2005 which he hasn't touched for ages and asked if i wanted it. I listened to his description of the PC problem n it sounded like a damaged HDD problem so I decided to bring it back home to see if I can work miracles with it. Over the years with my AMD Athlon 1.73ghz I had learnt to troubleshoot and upgrade the PC a little bit.
 
Bitten by the DIY bug, I brot Matthew's PC back and proceeded to see what I can do with it. It was a Pentium4 2.4ghz with jus a puny 512mb of RAM. Good processor, tragic memory. To my delight, the Intel motherboard seemed like one made in the same era as my old PC!

Being pretty ignorant, I'm not sure if all the DDRam slots are the same regardless if they are DDR1,2 or 3 but i'm jus glad that i can reuse my 4months old 1GB RAM and tripled the memory instantly.

Then I hooked up my C drive with the motherboard, prayed really hard n turned the power on. To my delight, the boot-up screen appeared and within a minute the computer was in ordnung! Only 2 error messages appeared, indicating a missing sound n display controller.

Next I connected my old ATI 128MB 9200SE graphic card to the Intel motherboard, gently. I boot up, nothing at all. Turns out the card wasn't inserted properly. I pushed it in hard, hooked up the DVI connectors and wala! Do today's graphic cards still use AGP slot? Honestly, if only I was a bit more knowledgeable back then I would've bot a better graphics card. Here's an appeal to anyone with an old unwanted graphic card! I figure any Tom Dick or Harry has got to have a better one than mine! I'm stuck at 24% of the Rayman RR game! Nevertheless, without the old timer, even scrolling internet pages is a pain.

Having added the graphic card the video controller error went away. Next, I downloaded the audio controller driver n installed it without a glitch.

The side benefits of this "new" system, apart from a theoretically faster processor, and SATA readiness (so I could hook up my old 2nd HDD n DVD-writer) is that, it cut my boot up time by at least 75%! Surely that is the one thing I hated most abt the old PC. No amount of msconfig could've help that old system.

Hello and hurray for Intel! Goodbye and boos to AMD!!

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: 我喜欢懒懒的 (郭嘉璐)

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我喜欢懒懒的 (郭嘉璐)

我喜欢懒懒的
一个人的时候
没有电话纠缠的生活

冰箱空空洞洞
窗外人群钻动
没有什么新闻关系我

过时的音乐
流篡在空气之中
退冰的咖啡
涩涩酸酸的甜味
催着我睡意正浓

就这么懒懒的
整个人都不动
风扇吹乱头发的午后

冰块含在口中
麻木了我的头
为脚趾甲抹上橘色口红

流行的衣服
全丢在洗衣机中
柠檬的切片
冰冰凉凉的触摸
贴着我梦一场梦

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: 我喜欢懒懒的 (郭嘉璐)

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: 水蓝色眼泪(张惠妹)

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Bye Bye Baby (苏慧伦)
专辑:左撇子·旋转门 (2007)
词: Ciacia


风车它还在转我也不是没有呼吸
然而我必须承认自己错过许多风景
而我还以为你的爱就像那两部电影
爱情不用翻译 恋爱没有假期

我可以不在意冷漠和冲突
这些悲哀可有可无我比谁都清楚

隔壁的座椅摆着你折的风筝
我怀疑它又何必装得如此依依不舍

Dreams, dream, they used to be so beautiful...
dreams of you and me...
也许结局 我爱上绚烂的歌剧
演完了所有人世间的苦


你开心就说什么都好 失落的时候走极端的路
就算我们偶尔也会争吵 我从来不觉得你可恶
你曾经为了谁神魂颠倒 我曾经为了谁停下脚步
刚好天雨 bye bye baby


咖啡喝一杯 然后停一停
翻翻小说与被我收起来的每个瘾
窗边的黑钢琴都穿出新的灰
而我的手指头也敲不出心中的冰冷

深呼吸 把这独来独往的情节
当作是一个人喜欢孤单单的滋味
像天蝎座的猫 它穿着白衣服
只为了隐瞒黑色的肌肤


Dreams, dream, they used to be so beautiful...
dreams of me and you...
也许几许 美丽的梦早已惊醒
只剩下我自己找新的路

你开心就说什么都好 失落的时候走极端的路
就算我们偶尔也会争吵 我从来不觉得你可恶
你曾经为了谁神魂颠倒 我曾经为了谁停下脚步
刚好天明 bye bye baby


(Original: The Littlest Thing by Lily Ellen)

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Music: Bye Bye Baby (苏慧伦)

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Before..


After..


does it make it taste minty?
Is that how we get grape mint n other fruity flavours?
It jus begs so many questions!

Honestly.. I thot the white stuff is just mould like those on momo grapes?

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Music: Bye Bye Baby (苏慧伦)

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张艾嘉: 爱的代价
词/曲: 李宗盛

还记得年少时的梦吗?
象朵永远不凋零的花
陪我经过那风吹雨打
看世事无常
看沧桑变化

那些为爱所付出的代价
是永远都难忘的啊!
所有真心的痴心的话
永在我心中
虽然已没有他

走吧
走吧
人总要学着自己长大

走吧
走吧
人生难免经历苦痛挣扎

走吧
走吧
为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价

也许我偶尔还是会想他
偶尔难免会惦记着他
就当他是个老朋友啊
也让我心疼
也让我牵挂

只是我心中不再有火花
让往事都随风去吧
所有真心的痴心的话
都在我心中
虽然已没有他

走吧
走吧
人总要学着自己长大

走吧
走吧
人生难免经历苦痛挣扎

走吧
走吧
为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪
也曾黯然心碎
这是爱的代价

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: mixed
Current Music: 爱的代价 (张艾嘉)

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这一刻回头看见自己
这一路的风景百感交集的我
下一刻又将飞到哪里
渐渐疲惫的羽翼为你披上了勇气

放心离开我我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔著不可思议的梦
雨后的天空会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信著我们终会找到自由

这一刻时间变成行李
越过生命悲喜陪伴著我前进
因为你让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧脚步更加坚定

放心离开我我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔著不可思议的梦
雨后的天空会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信著我会找到自由

哦……只是远行不是逃避
告别是为延续回忆永恒的华丽
你……要照顾自己不要忘记
那些灿烂过的痕迹

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Current Location: Singapore
Current Mood: cheerful

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